Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

Relatable Leader


This podcast is produced to support the success of supervisors and managers. This content is also useful for people who strive to promote to a leadership position, because the time to start behaving like a leader is BEFORE you fill a leadership position. Listen to determine your path from job, to career, to passion - and evolve your leadership skill set by applying the knowledge and tools provided here. 

This is your behind the scenes access to coaching that supports your leadership. Thousands of participants have already benefited from Catherine Goggia's unique delivery of practical information and humorous style. This is not fancy trainer talk: this is down-to-earth outreach based on real-life work place experiences. 

Catherine has facilitated more than 5,000 presentations. She holds two international training certifications: one from Development Dimensions International and the other from Achieve Global. She earned a Job Performance Coach certification from the Fowler Wainwright Institute. 

Catherine taught college level Business Communication and Employee Readiness courses for 15 years. She has been a professional trainer for more than 25 years. Employees and students tell us her courses changed their lives for the better, and her evaluations consistently rate her as an engaged and motivational speaker. 

Please and Thank you for *RATE & REVIEW* on iTunes, Stitcher, and iHeart Radio – your review might inspire someone else to listen and receive the assistance they need to be more successful in their job!

Get Catherine Goggia’s book, “LIVE IT! Mastering Positive Attitude Habits, 15 Practical Tips for Managing Your Mindset,” on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/LIVE-Mastering-Positive-Attitude-Habits/dp/1534666923/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1491232688&sr=1-1&keywords=catherine+goggia+attitude

Relatable Leader Website

To learn more about Catherine’s projects outside of her focus on leadership resources, see her website:

http://www.catherinegoggia.com/

If you know anyone getting ready to start college, or even at a crossroads in life trying to put things back together in a positive way, I encourage you to give them my book, From Average Student to Academic Rock Star! This is my foundational college orientation available on Amazon in paperback. Set up like a workbook with action steps, this information has helped thousands of people get their goals on track. Some readers are purchasing it as a gift, and then deciding to keep it for themselves because of the life lessons addressed in the book.  Check it out on Amazon!

From Average Student to Academic Rock Star!

If you use a technique from the podcast or find any information especially useful, please jump on over to my website at relatableleader.com  to let me know! 

#relatableleader #catherinegoggia

For additional information and tools to support your success, go to my website:

http://www.relatableleader.com/

Advance your job skills: schedule Individual Coaching Sessions with Catherine! 

Connect with me on LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-goggia-771408ab/

 

Apr 11, 2017

Those moments when you don’t know what to say…Some people seem to be able to come up with something brilliant on the spot. Others of us rehash the even for hours before thinking of the statement we should have said. This formula will give you small wins in more of those situations!

In last week’s episode I gave you three options for responding to criticism. This week we’re focusing on another simple communication formula you can use when someone says something and you aren’t sure how to respond. This might come up when someone says something you disagree with or something that sounds really off.

This formula is based on a concept from another trainer. A colleague of mine went to a trade show seminar and came back with the formula:

I like

I wish

I wonder

This formula is easy to remember. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought it could be improved. “I like” is okay, but there is the risk of listening through the filter of what you like and don’t like. I think a more meaningful response might be: I appreciate….

This is where you find some aspect of the other person’s message you can validate.

“I wish” seems super passive to me, but I’m influenced by that saying, “You can wish in one hand and ‘do something else’ in the other hand and see which one fills up fastest.” I flipped that to, “I envision,” so the other person gains insight into your perspective for the future.

“I wonder” is conversational and would probably work well in many situations. But with some people, they’d just be, “Yeah, I wonder too!” You might take the discussion to a high level if you instead ask a question like, “How could we…?” or “What do you think about…?”  Yes, those question phrases are longer and might take more practice to remember, but I think it will be worth the effort.

Let’s take a look at an example.

The other person says, “I think your expectations are unrealistic. I don’t see how we’re supposed to be able to do this task in this amount of time – not if you want it done right.”

Your response could be: “I appreciate your focus on doing the job right. I envision you working with the team to study the current process to find out if there is any wasted time or extra steps in play. How can we make incremental improvements to the existing process?”

Let’s use another example.

The other person says, “I don’t think the situation was handled properly. I wasn’t part of the decision to make change on that time frame and I think it was very disrespectful.”

You could say: “I appreciate you telling me how you feel. I envision us having to put several changes on the fast track if we are going to meet our goals this year. How can we move quickly in your department – sometimes at a pace that might not feel comfortable for you – and still have you feel respected?”

Let’s use one more example for a different type of conversation.

The other person says, “I’m not sure about my role on the team anymore; not sure where I fit in. Now that someone has joined the team who is even better at the job than I am, I’m wondering if I should transfer to another team.”

Of course, there is no one size fits all response here, because your answer depends on what exactly is going on. But let’s say this is an employee who has a terrific track record and brings qualities to the team no one else has. You might say:

“I appreciate your awareness of the talents on the team. I envision hiring and training plans so effective that every person on every team is a top performer. How can we communicate the value we put on employee qualities such as you demonstrate: team work, reliability, and a great attitude, in addition to be really good at tasks? If you feel this way, I bet we have other employees feeling the same way, but they might not come talk to me about it.” And you would develop the discussion from there.

Speaking honestly in these moments is important in terms of being your authentic self. Being able to do so in a way that creates value for both people, validates the other person, engages their ideas, and moves the conversation toward action – that’s an art form and requires focused communication skills.

I appreciate

I envision

How can we

Get Catherine Goggia’s book, “LIVE IT! Mastering Positive Attitude Habits, 15 Practical Tips for Managing Your Mindset,” on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/LIVE-Mastering-Positive-Attitude-Habits/dp/1534666923/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1491232688&sr=1-1&keywords=catherine+goggia+attitude

Yesterday I added another book to the resources section:

Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do

From this book I learned some amazing information on brain patterns, and the importance of knowing our cues and reward systems. This is a great read as a follow-up to my book. In my book you can consider the 15 tips as 15 areas of behavior routines for you to study and modify as needed. What are your behavior cues in each area? What are your cues and rewards in each section of the wheel of life? How will you modify your behavior routines to increase your life satisfaction score?

Does your role include responsibility for employee performance discussions? If so, those conversations just go a lot easier for you! Go to the Relatable Leaders website and send me your email request for the Performance Management Worksheet, a discussion tool that organizes all the key points of these important conversations.

Relatable Leader Website

To learn more about Catherine’s projects outside of her focus on leadership resources, see her website:

http://www.catherinegoggia.com/

My focus is training supervisors and managers, or front line employees who have the goal to promote to leadership some day. The time to start behaving like a leader is before you fill a leadership position.  The information, tools, and resources shared in this podcast are designed to help you reach your highest potential in your career. I taught college level Business Communication and Employee Readiness courses for 15 years. Employees and students tell me my courses change their lives for the better, and my evaluations consistently rate me as an engaged and motivational speaker. I decided to produce a podcast in the effort to support a broader audience of people in higher levels of job satisfaction and productivity, as well as encourage people to find jobs for which they are a good fit.

Please and Thank you for *RATE & REVIEW* on iTunes and Stitcher – your review might inspire someone else to listen and receive the assist they need to be more successful in their job!

If you know anyone getting ready to start college, or even at a crossroads in life trying to put things back together in a positive way, I encourage you to give them my book, From Average Student to Academic Rock Star! This is my foundational college orientation available on Amazon in paperback. Set up like a workbook with action steps, this information has helped thousands of people get their goals on track. Some readers are purchasing it as a gift, and then deciding to keep it for themselves because of the life lessons addressed in the book.  Check it out on Amazon!

From Average Student to Academic Rock Star!

 

If you use a technique from the podcast or find any information especially useful, please jump on over to my website at relatableleader.com and you can email me or post your feedback on twitter CatherineGoggia@goggia

For additional information and tools to support your success, go to my website:

http://www.relatableleader.com/

 

Advance your job skills: schedule Individual Coaching Sessions with Catherine!

Purchase Books, Subscribe to Blog, Stay Connected!   

 

Connect with me on LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-goggia-771408ab/

Join our community on facebook! Like my business page:

https://www.facebook.com/interpersonalevolution/

and join our friends group:

https://www.facebook.com/catherinegoggiabutte

 

Watch for patterns in your communication when you might be unintentionally shutting other people down or invalidating their perspective or ideas. Be on the alert for evaluative comments that don’t move the conversation forward toward action.

Be sure to memorize this 3 step communication formula. If you have any crazy makers in your life, this formula can save you a lot of time and energy. What is a crazy maker? It’s those people who make you think, “This person is driving me crazy!” Guess what, you’re NOT CRAZY! The distortion is REAL.

You might work with them. You might be related to them. I hope you aren’t living with one of them!

I personally became aware of crazy making behaviors when I was married to an alcoholic. Have you ever spent a lot of time around someone who tried to convince you you were imagining things when you attempted to call them out on their selfish behaviors or dishonesty?

It’s crazy making…meaning, they are trying to make you feel like YOU are the crazy one. If you bring up any issue, brace yourself: within a few moments the crazy maker will try to convince you that it’s YOUR FAULT and if that doesn’t work, they will blame someone else. Crazy makers don’t hold themselves accountable for their own outcomes, and they sure don’t take responsibility for how hurtful their actions are. They can bring an entire work team down.

Crazy makers break their word at the drop of a hat if keeping their word means they won’t get their short-term gratification needs met.

Seriously, if you catch them in a lie, they are masterful at distraction. They completely discount your perceptions and feelings. At work these people might go years without an accurate performance evaluation because they are so good at controlling the discussion.

Crazy makers are good at convincing you to spend your time or money or both to achieve their goals, but they will NEVER be satisfied. Once you help them meet one goal, they will quickly move onto the next thing because they are not internally satisfied with themselves. It’s a bait and switch low self-esteem game in which true contentment and satisfaction will never come because of their internal voids.

At work these crazy makers are especially challenging because they love to triangulate – that is, play one person against another person.

These people are often ruled by their own schedules and they will tell tall tales in the effort to make the world bend to their whims.

From what I’ve come to understand, they truly don’t believe they are doing anything wrong. I think they make stuff up and then convince themselves it’s true.

So let’s take a look at how you might use this 3 step communication formula to deal with a crazy maker.

The other person says: “I think you should know Joe has been talking smack about you. It sounds like he’s after your job.”

You could respond: “I appreciate you looking out for me. I envision a time when we don’t talk behind each other’s backs.  How can you shut down that type of talk in the future, whether it’s about me or someone else?

The other person says some version of: “I only did that because you said…”

You could respond: “I appreciate you trying to interpret my meaning. I envision us asking for clarifications if we aren’t sure what the other person is saying. How can we make sure we don’t have this type of mix up again?”

What if the situation is so frustrating for you, you know you shouldn’t say much of anything in the moment?

You can say: “I need some time to think about this before responding because this situation is important to me. Can we talk tomorrow?”

And as you walk away, to regain your sense of humor, you can think to yourself, “I appreciate nothing about this situation or person. I envision a time when I don’t have to deal with this stuff anymore. How can we get this person to work in another department?”

Then you can chuckle to yourself, be proud of yourself for remembering the formula, and come back tomorrow with a more productive approach!

Is this podcast helpful for you? If so, thank you for taking time to post a review on iTunes or Stitcher! 

Get Catherine Goggia’s book, “LIVE IT! Mastering Positive Attitude Habits, 15 Practical Tips for Managing Your Mindset,” on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/LIVE-Mastering-Positive-Attitude-Habits/dp/1534666923/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1491232688&sr=1-1&keywords=catherine+goggia+attitude

Does your role include responsibility for employee performance discussions? If so, those conversations just go a lot easier for you! Go to the Relatable Leaders website and send me your email request for the Performance Management Worksheet, a discussion tool that organizes all the key points of these important conversations.

Relatable Leader Website

To learn more about Catherine’s projects outside of her focus on leadership resources, see her website:

http://www.catherinegoggia.com/

My focus is training supervisors and managers, or front line employees who have the goal to promote to leadership some day. The time to start behaving like a leader is before you fill a leadership position.  The information, tools, and resources shared in this podcast are designed to help you reach your highest potential in your career. I taught college level Business Communication and Employee Readiness courses for 15 years. Employees and students tell me my courses change their lives for the better, and my evaluations consistently rate me as an engaged and motivational speaker. I decided to produce a podcast in the effort to support a broader audience of people in higher levels of job satisfaction and productivity, as well as encourage people to find jobs for which they are a good fit.

Please and Thank you for *RATE & REVIEW* on iTunes and Stitcher – your review might inspire someone else to listen and receive the assist they need to be more successful in their job!

If you know anyone getting ready to start college, or even at a crossroads in life trying to put things back together in a positive way, I encourage you to give them my book, From Average Student to Academic Rock Star! This is my foundational college orientation available on Amazon in paperback. Set up like a workbook with action steps, this information has helped thousands of people get their goals on track. Some readers are purchasing it as a gift, and then deciding to keep it for themselves because of the life lessons addressed in the book.  Check it out on Amazon!

From Average Student to Academic Rock Star!

 

If you use a technique from the podcast or find any information especially useful, please jump on over to my website at relatableleader.com and you can email me or post your feedback on twitter CatherineGoggia@goggia

For additional information and tools to support your success, go to my website:

http://www.relatableleader.com/

 

Advance your job skills: schedule Individual Coaching Sessions with Catherine!

Purchase Books, Subscribe to Blog, Stay Connected!   

 

Connect with me on LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-goggia-771408ab/

Join our community on facebook! Like my business page:

https://www.facebook.com/interpersonalevolution/

and join our friends group:

https://www.facebook.com/catherinegoggiabutte